My SSLC examination results are out. I
got a good enough grade to decide what I want to do in my life. Well,
thats what everyone says. The direction my life is going to take is
dependent upon the decision I make. Public opinion is to take Biology
group as I have ability to become doctor or engineer. I decided
against my parents wish to take computer science because I sucked at
drawing anything without a ruler :)
Thankfully, the school I studied didn't
pressurize me to start working on 12th syllabus in 11th. I had a
normal childhood. I use to come from home, play for an hour and then
start studying. Since, I was the elder in the family, there was no
one to compare two. No pressure to perform, except my mother crying
once in a while reminding me about how we didn't have any monetary
assets and the only way for me to get a good life is to study well.
She was right. Once I ditched biology and history from my study
cycle, I was awesome. I am happy with my choices and with my life and
…
Lets stop right there. When I write my
story, I want to write it in such a way to make sure that I look
better than most of you reading this and that is my first agenda. The
itch to compare us with others forces to me to lie about my choices.
I have been able to see this in the past couple of years and I have
been trying to correct myself. However, it leads me to the following
questions.
Why do parents compare their kids with
others? One parent claimed that his son should study well just
because of the fact that his nephews have got good grade. Why doesn't
a parent spend time in figuring what is son is good at then worrying
about how his social status is affected due to the child's grade?
Why does a girl need to get married
early? One of my friend who was ultra talented, had her life taken
away from her just because she has to get married and have kids
before she is 30. Now, you can ask me → “Isnt she happy with the
marriage? The fact that she has kids tells you that she is happy”.
Yes, the answer is she is happy, but that leaves us with a larger
question that is not being asked. What do we need from our lives? If
the idea is to be have kids, then well, have fun with your life. If
as a kid, you grew up thinking about transforming human lives, making
everyone better or lets say being successful in career and becoming
rich, then how will you pursue that? Now again, you might ask →
“well, what stops you from doing that after marriage?
Society stops us from pursuing a
career. Society dictates that we shud have a two bedroom apartment
before 30. Society tells you that you shud have a car and it also
tells you that is ok for a girl to sacrifice her career as everyone
else does it. It also tells you that you shud care about the dreams
of your child once you have them. Society wants you be like everyone
else.
The easiest thing to forget here is
that society is formed by us. We live in the same society that
created slavery, racism, and established the fact that girls dream
should be to serve her family.
It is time to start asking why before
it is too late. It is time to have a valid explanation for every
action that affects our lives instead of being happy with the answer
“That is what everyone does”. Have a dream, pursue it. When all
is said at done, you can be happy that you achieved your dream or
still be happy about the fact that you tried to reach for it, instead
of being like everyone else.
Success can be born out of fear of
failure, nodue to fear of society.
It is time that we start talking about
the right to live our life the way we want to.
